They've shown who they are and they aren't going to change. You are also TA for condoning their behavior up to this point. This should have been stopped way before it got that far. the stuff in the first paragraph was bullying but hiding his inhaler? Yet I still had a feeling something would happen when it came to my wedding. Life saving medication! His worth js as a humannot reliant on their approval or testing. They at least all need to apologise and show remorse and understanding that they were wrong, along with a promise to stop this bullshit. thats not a prank thats illegal please cut these people off for good, Im glad you are both still together after all this! OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My family thinks I am the asshole because of how harshly I spoke to him and that I broke his heart. I think OP should have shut this nonsense down before the inhaler "prank" ever happened, and I'm almost inclined to consider her the AH for that reason alone. She has a shitty family and needs to go to therapy to unlearn the unhealthy dynamic she grew up in. of abuse? What kind of fiance would you be if you didn't stand up for him? They are crimes. Her family, her responsibilty. NTA for uninviting them to the wedding but you are huge AH for not shutting their antics down sooner and continuing to subject Tim to these bullies. And PLEASE hire security for your wedding. He needs to ends this before these monsters end up murdering him. And talking about seeing your life moving forward how will you feel when they start this pranking with your future kids? That true men dont behave like that and only insecure little ones who dont know how to control emotions or have no ethics do. NTA. What your family have done is abuse, and could have easily led to harm to your fianc. Here is the think they already dont respect him and they never will so all they are doing is being mean to the guy. Pranks aren't supposed to cost the person being pranked money. Wouldnt it increase their respect for both of them as a couple if that despicable quartet come out of this wedding with the ULTIMATE wedding favour, aka mug shots and restraining orders? People who havent felt like that cant understand just how scary it is. 4 new tires is in the high hundreds too. That's a crazy amount of money. Elope! That's truly evil behavior, that you don't have to "let bygones be bygones" on. Truth is Timmy no longer feels comfortable being around them so this is saying something but he says he doesn't want to drive a wedge between me and my family. Again, keep in mind him and I have never once hung out one on one just strictly in social settings. They need to massively apologize. This, Im shocked they are engaged, he must really love her. No adult man wants some rando on the internet trying to convince people his name means he's immature or not "man enough". Slashing tires isn't a prank. People with asthma can die from their condition. - Reddit, I mean GONDOR calls for aid!! OP How do you not see that these people are psychopaths?! What your sister did was shitty, she let you down and made you waste 90. OP is fucking tim over by the numbers by waffling. INFO did you talk to her about how it hurt your feelings? Just to make sure they didn't need help. If you have a son, do you want your family to test him this way? Something like Am I being gaslit? Because thats all this post was. Something they weren't at all worried about. NTA they took his medication! But I keep refusing to re invite them. Also if she had to beg and beg for you to go with her she may have assumed you didn't want to come and she was relieving you of a burden when she cancelled. This doesnt sound like pranking but more like bullying. Yeah i would have been off the fence after the tires. (ETA: for example, "swim to that rock way out there", when it's really rough water). These pranks are just excuses to be pricks. Since he buys high quality tires, that'd have been an immediate vandalism report. My husbands tires would cost 500-600 per tire, so we would be out 2000 at least if we had issues with all 4 at the same time. What an exhausting way to go through life for your dad and the people who care about him. He should know better. I have asthma. Sounds like the boys in your family have an issue with being held accountable for their actions. NTA, the only typical thing about this is typical mail toxic behaviour. Congrats on your wedding and good luck! If anything, apologize to Tim for not drawing this line in the sand earlier. Time to tell dad that people find him to be a thug and a criminal and don't respect him because he treats people badly. NTA Sorry, you do NOT deserve to be treated like this. If she's trying to diminish the situation and act like there isn't a problem--or act like the problem is small enough that you should just let it go already--then she is clearly part of the problem, too. Your family took their "pranks" from being playful teasing to outright hazing. A few years ago he was diagnosed with gout and just flat out denied it was gout and ignored what he was told to do to manage it. Dude yta for allowing this to go on as long as it has. NTA Asthma is no joke. However, she doesn't like her either. People really act like this? OP's family isn't awful, they are abusive. I dont have that much extra cash on hand, and with having to miss work to get it done? Press J to jump to the feed. I'd protect him & any future kids you have with everything you have in you. I'd be calling the cops. Not only would I keep them disinvited, Id go no contact completely. Bullying and witholding a life saving medication are another. They hid an inhaler from someone with asthma. Why were you even associating with them?! Its just a joke is just the typical response to make it seem less harmful and make the victim out to be exaggerating. Your husband will never be comfortable around them and that's not fair to him. Slashing tires and taking an asthmatics inhaler is not typical. Id tell them since they suck so much at life they can sit at the house and play pranks on one another and if mommy wants to get involved, she can sit her ass at the house with them as well. Shits wild n out with Nick Cannon and she should have cut them off a long time ago. Tell them you are reporting them to the police for attempted murder and get a restraining order. Hiding his inhaler could have landed your fianc in the hospital. His entire family has disowned me and they're all blocked on my phone after sending me awful messages. Yeah that's why I normally use it in any situation where I type sarcasm. So, yeah - man up and die for real. A prank leaves people laughing all together over something silly and stupid. If yes, i can understand where it came from, but sad for them, they have to move on and be smarter than their predecessors. Asthma is scary as hell! NTA. AHs are still AHs. NTA. If I sat there and let one of my weird relatives bully him, or god forbid, put his life in danger, (say, for example, by hiding an important medical device like an inhaler) hed be fully justified in running for the damn hills. Stuck to your guns, your poor finance has been through more than enough and must really love you to have tolerated this bullshit. I was so mad at the timing of that because I couldn't do nearly as much as I wanted to on that trip because of that unexpected expense. Theyd find a way to ruin it and expect you to laugh about it. A prank is like a joke. There's a difference between pranks and harassment. I think it would be good for both of you. Damn your dad is awful. My god. Asthma can kill and as someone with asthma not knowing where my emergency inhaler is can cause anxiety as I may need it to save my life. NTA. I would hope there can be some direct communication between everyone to tide things over. Slashing tires isnt a prank. Its destruction of private property and vandalism. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. Youre NTA but you will be if you force your future husband to be around them. NTA - stand your ground. For no reason. You think they are the only part of the family like this? At the point where youre an adult you should be able to realise that this isnt how you treat people. Cut these assholes off and don't look back. No, Tim: No, you wouldnt. I'm sorry, but your family are psychopaths and you and Tim need to get far, far away from them and never look back. What they did could have KILLED your fianc. Also, asthma attacks can be deadly. Something like if I brake this plate then dad will beat me and not mom Understanding these types of issues helped me see the patterns in my family an step pit of these roles. You uninviting him to your graduation is not a sign that you are ungrateful but to send a message that you are done with his bad behaviour and you deserve better. These men literally think they can just, likewill their bodies to be healthy???? I hope she doesnt cut off the family for him, but for herself. Theyve done damage to private property and have threatened the life of your fianc. You don't have to invite people to your wedding that are negative. "It's just a joke!". The funniest is snipping valve stems. I sent Dean and Kevin invitations but once they found out that our stepdad was going to be there, they said they might not come. Things have been better between all of us, I went to their house for thanksgiving and my dads retirement party and everyone got along. Your fianc could have died! What theyre doing is ritualised abuse motivated by toxic masculinity. Like just breathe bro /s, Bro you need to breathe into a tube to live? Your family is bullying him. Little Timmy could have pranked them back by dying without his inhaler if he hasn't discovered its loss in time. So funny! They could have killed him. NTA, the men in your family are full blown psychopaths. He has asthma and they could have killed him the first time they took it. They shouldnt come. NTA. These men need help. NTA, that's not typical "men stuff", your dad, uncle, brother and cousin are bullies. Keep asking why. On what planet are the attempted murderers of half the happy couple welcome at their wedding? They are cruel and bordering on criminal behavior. Pranks are only my cup of tea if they are funny for all those involved, if they are absurd rather than harmful, like filling a car with popcorn, not causing actual problems. Your dad should be proud if he actually values those things and it truly is why tested your fianc. My dad taught us how to change oil, mom taught us how to change tires, and our entire lives we helped them with home projects as big as installing a pocket door in our old house. He said that he didn't reply but later I got a call from my mom yelling at me calling me hurtful stuff saying I was acting like an ungrateful b by excluding her husband from the wedding after everything he's done for me, I told her that my brothers threatened not to come which pushed me to make this difficult dicision because if it was for me I'd have everyone there. Sounds like Tim is the only real man among them. Everything you have a son, do you want your family have done is abuse and... First paragraph was bullying but hiding his inhaler have pranked them back dying! To have tolerated this bullshit to miss work to get it done accountable. 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