What should couples do when they get overwhelmed with the whole planning process? So a couple may have originally thought they wanted to have a big wedding with lots of guests but then end up going down the route of eloping. Two of them are already married, and the youngest one, the 25-year-old, is engaged and had already started planning her wedding. Therefore, from my side, I'd be having about 35 guests. Especially you, if he's like this with your family and emotions now, imagine how it's going to be once you're legally bound together. Despite hearing those crazy wedding stories where everyones stressed, overworked, and disappointed, everyone knows that in the end, these things dont really matter once the important day comes and all the hard work of planning pays off. idky she expects you to pay for her ticket when everyone else has to pay for theirs. You really do love to see it. But what if that day doesnt come? Therefore, given that now I'm earning twice what she does, the numbers are calculated based on the following: 2X + 1X = 3X; X/3X = 0. All the guests and family are on your side. The end result would be that she'd have about 55-60 guests from her side. I am going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. "To preface this, we only got engaged about 10 weeks ago and have plans for November 2021, but if there's still issues at the time we'll postpone." I live in one of the homes that he owns and pay rent to him with my boyfriend and a roommate. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. If SIL can't afford the ticket then she can choose not to come. As if her refusing to come is going to make you so sad that you will change your mind? Crazy man's first impression was WAYY different from what he turned out to be and within 5 months they got engaged. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Please enter your email to complete registration. She's very disappointed and things have been icy because they would have to put off getting a house together if they were to pay for the wedding and they still wouldn't be able to afford the wedding that they want. aita for not paying for my daughters wedding laughing buddha story; kohler courage governor adjustment. We're both financially in a good place, but for the past 3 years I've been earning twice what she makes. ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px;-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}._2b2iJtPCDQ6eKanYDf3Jho{-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset;--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed}._3a4fkgD25f5G-b0Y8wVIBe{margin-right:8px} Half are now flying to the place we are getting married, and paying for their own plane tickets. It is also normal for guests to pay their travel and accommodation costs! She has been with her fiance for 10 years, and they are . And we're all happy with that! INFO: what do you mean by being generous? If you've ever planned a wedding, you'll know the struggle of having to decide who gets invited, who gets to be a groomsman or a bridesmaid, who is just there for the ceremony and whatnot. They asked me to have the bridal shower at my home since most of the guests live close to here and they now live in another state. Bored Panda contacted Wedding Planner, a leading wedding planner platform in the UK that provides a wide range of services for engaged couples, to find out some insightful nuances about wedding planning. The mother wants to give them the money to keep the peace but the dad says no. Most people pay for their own weddings in the sense that guests don't actually pay for any part of it, so that's not really relevant. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! While the older siblings decided to use this money for their future home, the third daughter wanted this sum to be used for the wedding celebration. This was the difficulty Redditor and Original Poster LadyDreaLee ran into recently, so she took to the Am I the A**hole subreddit for the guidance she needed. Every 20 year relationship starts with a 4 month relationship, regardless it is the person they love right now. I (27M) will be soon getting married to my fiance (25F) after spending 7 beautiful years together. It was never expected that the couple would pay for our airfare or our hotel or our transportation. Skip to first sitch: 20:03. AITA my future husband and I are restricting who makes a speech and for how long. After letting her know of the above and that she'd have to cover entirely the extra guests cost, she got mad and wants to cancel the wedding altogether and just register our marriage at the Register Office without any ceremony (which I strongly disagree with). /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/IdCard.ea0ac1df4e6491a16d39_.css.map*/._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} lol. To view it, confirm your age. Me and my fiance carefully chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules. In addition, they want the other family member to pay for the shower as well. But if she ordered a custom dress that person would have ground to keep the deposit, at least if she had no intention of buying it. ._2a172ppKObqWfRHr8eWBKV{-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;margin-right:8px}._39-woRduNuowN7G4JTW4I8{margin-top:12px}._136QdRzXkGKNtSQ-h1fUru{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:8px 0;width:100%}.r51dfG6q3N-4exmkjHQg_{font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}.r51dfG6q3N-4exmkjHQg_,._2BnLYNBALzjH6p_ollJ-RF{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._2BnLYNBALzjH6p_ollJ-RF{margin-left:auto}._1-25VxiIsZFVU88qFh-T8p{padding:0}._2nxyf8XcTi2UZsUInEAcPs._2nxyf8XcTi2UZsUInEAcPs{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor)} I did not argue with my sister because my best friend wasn't invitedI just wasn't sure how else to title this without it being too wordy. Hey Pandas, What Was A Moment When Quick Thinking Probably Saved Your Life? She said that she told him the truth, and the husband lashed out stating that he was . Aita for refusing to pay for my daughters wedding dress "1- request payment for the dress from both the mother in law and sister in law. ._1sDtEhccxFpHDn2RUhxmSq{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap}._1d4NeAxWOiy0JPz7aXRI64{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}.icon._3tMM22A0evCEmrIk-8z4zO{margin:-2px 8px 0 0} Once we had that salary gap between us, to ease the financial burden on each other, we decided that it'd be best if we'd pay everything that we'd do in common percent wise based on our salary (going out, traveling, expenses). NTA - that's usually how it's done for weddings and to expect anything different is strange. It's safe to say that the bride and groom should have the final say as to who gets an invitation to their wedding. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My mother thinks I'm being an asshole because I don't want her to bring one of her friends to my wedding. I've never heard about wedding guests expecting to have their travel expenses covered, nor their accommodation, if it can't be provided by the couple/family. It's her guest list and I get that. It will not get better.~HumbleGarb, Run. We're both financially in a good place, but for the past 3 years I've been earning twice what she makes. NTA~lotsofcache. ju. ._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa{margin-top:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._3EpRuHW1VpLFcj-lugsvP_{color:inherit}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa svg._31U86fGhtxsxdGmOUf3KOM{color:inherit;fill:inherit;padding-right:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._2mk9m3mkUAeEGtGQLNCVsJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;color:inherit} Be delicate, but don't back down. As, after all, I'm not doing this for presents, but rather as a celebration of our love, something that we'd be sharing with our dearest. When it comes to weddings, the question of how much of the financial burden should be put on the parents of the bride or groom can be a tricky one. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Im supposed to be a bridesmaid in the wedding. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, Employee Gets Told They're "Replaceable", So They Play Along And It Ruins The Company, Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid, People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics), "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Might Change Your Perspective On The 20th Century (New Pics), The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. She asked for advice on Reddit 's " Am I the A****** " forum. Finally it's AITA for not going to my best friend's sister's wedding? Do you think its generous to cover the costs of your own wedding (excluding travel and lodging of course)? NTA but there's an easy solution here. They now own 3 homes as they just purchased a second rental property. We went to two out of state weddings in less than 6 months. I had to set a boundary with them and let them know I can pay for 2 of the 3 things they are requesting - either the shower, the transportation to the wedding or rent. I highlighted that I'd prefer we'd invite only family and friends that we're actively communicating and going out with, that I'd rather spend that precious time with people I care most for, rather than being split around tables having to entertain people I rarely even talk to. They asked another family member to help plan the shower. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Especially when backing off is not an option? This sounds like it is months in advance so people like the dj and photographer have plenty of time to find a new gig. My fiance and I are getting married in a few weeks. If they have that much property and can choose NOT to work, they sure as h#ll can afford to pay for their own shower/wedding and anything they need to get from a shower. The author of the post shared that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children. In my free time, I love going to art galleries, exhibitions, concerts or just hanging out in nature with my friends. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. After you are married, your MIL will treat your kids differently because they arent her biological grandkids., Things like birthdays and Christmas will become nightmares., I am not talking about paying for education or other more extravagant gifts, just the everyday living experiences., I am not saying you expect any of this, it is just what will probably happen. We are doing a small wedding and only inviting 20 guests. My daughter and her fiance got engaged last year and my wife and I promised to pay for all the wedding expenses which were rather costly. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. A woman can't believe that her best friend who's getting married didn't invite her fiance to the ceremony. Our daughter is usually very considerate of others feelings and opinions and is a generally nice person. If I was in his shoes, I would've put those $5k in a bank account, with the caveat, that they can use them for a house or rent. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. I am 20 years old. For context, OP is getting married soon. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our, Press J to jump to the feed. The specialists revealed that this is not a very common occurrence, adding: The more common scenario is for couples to completely change their minds before the actual planning starts. AITA for paying for my son's wedding? A couple of hours later, the author got a call from her husband revealing that he found a text from his manager stating that he was fired. I might be the asshole for not considering her feelings on the matter. Sounds like someone who doesn't plan ahead. Privacy Policy. NTA as long as you arent upset if people who live faraway cant attend. do not pay for anything for your father's wedding!!!! That way, they've used the money for one of the two scenarios for which it was offered whilst not gifting less money than they did for the siblings. I feel like it's my fault so I want to know if people think I'm the asshole or if she is being unreasonable. There is ALOT of background info with about 6 - 7 years worth of information but the TLDR version is this: Back in September 2016, my mom matched with a person on an old person dating website. Aita for wanting my husband of 25 . We had to be a bit more frugal to do it but it was our gift to them so it didn't bother me. I don't think it has to be said but to be clear I completely understand that this was unforseen and a very stressful time for the both of them. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. The list seems to just go on and on. Woman's Fianc Uninvited To Wedding Because Relationship 'Invalid': AITA Life Woman Furious After Fianc Isn't Invited To Friend's Wedding Because Their Relationship Isn't 'Valid' by Ben Acosta SDI Productions / Getty Images Weddings are known for inducing so much stress. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? NTA. Anyhoo)., NTA OP. ._3-SW6hQX6gXK9G4FM74obr{display:inline-block;vertical-align:text-bottom;width:16px;height:16px;font-size:16px;line-height:16px} jar of homemade jelly to share., And this was after 4 Christmases of nothing being sent for me and my daughter., When we visited his dad/stepmom in Alaska no small trip dragging ourselves all the way up there to meet them! I have more of an issue with them quitting jobs and expecting his parents to let them live with them while they find work after bumming around the world for months. She should support your big day by paying for a ticket, or kindly say she cannot attend due to finances. Two of the most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment. That may be true if you go to court over it(im not a lawyer, so idk), but if you try to dispute it through your bank, you're gonna be held to the agreement you made, which likely only says that the deposit is non-refundable. An absolute blast. I work in disputes for a large bank, and people are always shocked when they're held to the non-refundable agreement they made. However the amount of money that went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial climate. Uninvited Woman's Fianc Asks Her To Pay For Family Vacation: AITA Family Woman Balks After Fianc Asks Her To Pay For Him To Go On Family Vacation She Wasn't Invited To by Frank Geier benzoix/Getty Images Finding the time to spend with all the people in your life that matter to you can be challenging. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.3b33fc17a17cec1345d4_.css.map*/ before contacting the mod team. Years back we agreed that, to not keep a financial burden on one's side, we'd follow the following rule: Sum of my salary + Sum of her salary = Total Salary; My salary / Total Salary = My percent contribution; Her salary / Total Salary = Her percent contribution; At times those numbers were 80/20, 75/25 and so on, it changes based on our income. I initially tried to talk to my Dad to explain that 1) these people were never planned on as part of the very limited guest count 2) My future husband's family is spending a fortune to travel from Brazil to the US to meet my family and that having a wedding full of my Dad's friends and their plus 5's will majorly distract from this 3) There are very close friends of mine that I can't invite because the venue only fits 75-80 people. Therefore, whenever we need to pay for something, I pay 67% of it, and she's paying the remaining 33%. Add some strained familial relationships to . The Bored Panda iOS app is live! I've read almost all of your comments and I'll keep doing that. and that was not the initial offer- Had they said someting up front entirely different, they didn't, NO more free money.). And this is besides all of the other planning you need to do, like deciding on venues, dishes, churches, clothing styles, gift ideas and a bunch of other things. Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction., While we all know how much stress and sleepless nights preparation for the wedding might cause, it was shared that oftentimes people like to plan everything themselves. AmItheAsshole PrimaryDiet5940 11520 G 2023-01-04 12:50:59 My son is getting married to a wonderful woman. Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Mom Leaves Teen Daughter Alone In The Hospital On Christmas, Hoping It Will Teach Her A Lesson, Wonders If She Went Too Far, Husband Is In Shock After He Sees $170K Missing From His Daughters College Fund, Finds Out His Wife Spent It, Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, 30 Y.O. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Others were more concerned about the future. NO!. I should also mention that they have been unemployed by choice for the last 13 months since they moved and have not looked for a job. Not the A-hole I (27M) will be soon getting married to my fiance (25F) after spending 7 beautiful years together. My fiance ( 23M) and I (23 F) are getting married in less than a month. They said they would pay for the shower. Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. Specifically, the wedding date is set for Halloween because OP herself (as well as her partner, a 30-year-old . They have now stopped responding to my attempts to resolve this situation. They can't expect the people back home to cover all those expenses after they chose to move away. Then it's the namesake. Fast forward to now and the situation has completely changed and they said they now have the expectation that I will be paying for the shower and are trying to guilt me into paying for it saying that they are having financial issues and still not working. You are too busy to entertain anyone so they should have the person there with them to make it a more enjoyable event. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. And you have free meal and free booze! The extra guests cost would be 1 month's salary for her. and sh*t all over me and my daughter, making us feel very unwanted., Hes an ex for many reasons but that was a big one. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Weddings are boring, if you want people to enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy it with. The creator of the site explained: We always say to couples that they should try and not put too much pressure on themselves from both a financial and an emotional perspective. Cancel the wedding and EVERYONES invites get cancelled! Finance wise, I've let her know that I would not be willing to pay the 67% of the wedding costs for the guests that are coming from her parents side or for the relatives with which she hasn't spoken in years. Usually, I make up the difference., So he asks if he can get money as a present for his birthday from me and my kids., I told him if he cant even spend his birthday with us (by going up to the vacation site later) then I wouldnt be getting him anything from me and the kids., He said that wasnt fair and I told him it wasnt fair that we were being excluded from his family vacation., AITAH for not getting him anything for his birthday?. Run, OP. If you really want her there, then pay, otherwise she can stay at home. Hey! And no, not because the couple broke up, but because they decided mid-way not to go with the whole celebration scenario, the reason being that they cant handle the stress. Or not. Saul Tolstych. NTA.~suzris. My 2-year-old son can't attend, either. ._9ZuQyDXhFth1qKJF4KNm8{padding:12px 12px 40px}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM,._1JmnMJclrTwTPpAip5U_Hm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);margin-bottom:40px;padding-top:4px;text-align:left;margin-right:28px}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM ._24r4TaTKqNLBGA3VgswFrN{margin-left:6px}._306gA2lxjCHX44ssikUp3O{margin-bottom:32px}._1Omf6afKRpv3RKNCWjIyJ4{font-size:18px;font-weight:500;line-height:22px;border-bottom:2px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line);color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);margin-bottom:8px;padding-bottom:8px}._2Ss7VGMX-UPKt9NhFRtgTz{margin-bottom:24px}._3vWu4F9B4X4Yc-Gm86-FMP{border-bottom:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line);margin-bottom:8px;padding-bottom:2px}._3vWu4F9B4X4Yc-Gm86-FMP:last-of-type{border-bottom-width:0}._2qAEe8HGjtHsuKsHqNCa9u{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);padding-bottom:8px;padding-top:8px}.c5RWd-O3CYE-XSLdTyjtI{padding:8px 0}._3whORKuQps-WQpSceAyHuF{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon);margin-bottom:8px}._1Qk-ka6_CJz1fU3OUfeznu{margin-bottom:8px}._3ds8Wk2l32hr3hLddQshhG{font-weight:500}._1h0r6vtgOzgWtu-GNBO6Yb,._3ds8Wk2l32hr3hLddQshhG{font-size:12px;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._1h0r6vtgOzgWtu-GNBO6Yb{font-weight:400}.horIoLCod23xkzt7MmTpC{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:#ea0027}._33Iw1wpNZ-uhC05tWsB9xi{margin-top:24px}._2M7LQbQxH40ingJ9h9RslL{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon);margin-bottom:8px} When someone moves across the country, they accept the reality that they'll miss milestones for all sorts of reasons ranging from costs to time. I have regretfully declined weddings I couldn't afford to attend. Concerns were raised about the relationship. And when it doesntthat is also quite obvious., (I have to add that I sometimes wonder if his family wasnt trying to deliberately sabotage our relationship. If they do rebook, they are required to return the deposit. NTA, either she pays or she stays home. I can't talk about my 'lifestyle' because she doesn't want to . Brian Skellenger. I make about 6 times more than my parents combined, she makes about 2 times more than her parents combined. In her post, Reasonable-Issue2334 told her older sister it was unfair that she didn't get the same "nurturing environment" growing up that her own children have. I've let her know that we will split the finances percent wise for up to 35 invites from each other's side, and that she'd have to cover entirely the extra guests that'd be coming from her side (any guest above 35). Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. .LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH{fill:var(--newRedditTheme-actionIcon);height:18px;width:18px}.LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH rect{stroke:var(--newRedditTheme-metaText)}._3J2-xIxxxP9ISzeLWCOUVc{height:18px}.FyLpt0kIWG1bTDWZ8HIL1{margin-top:4px}._2ntJEAiwKXBGvxrJiqxx_2,._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{vertical-align:middle}._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-inline-flexbox;display:inline-flex;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center} My father is getting remarried, hes almost 58 years old. She was very nice and polite and very good with my granddaughter. not always. Even though this sounds like a great alternative, the parents were quite upset with their daughter spending their $5K on caterers and wedding-related things that they couldnt get back. (Closed), Hey Pandas, Share A Unique Way You Display Your Books (Closed), Here Are My 31 Heartfelt Illustrations To Brighten Up Your Day (New Pics). I have more friends & relatives which would for sure be happy to attend, but I kept my list short to invite close friends, close family and first cousins. There are so many views that I haven't even considered and you are all right in your own way. Image source: RosieBaker19. It really is a kiss my a**e attitude, and let others take care of me, because we are so entitled(WTF!) Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction.. My daughter and her fiance got engaged last year and my wife and I promised to pay for all the wedding expenses which were rather costly. Judgement_Bot_AITA 1 min. in my culture, the guests provide for their own travel expenses, accomodation etc.. well maybe except some couples usually foot the bills for their parents. Image credits: _Bluenose Girl (not the actual image). So she doesn't come. Help keep the sub engaging! Keep in mind that these issues are very common and come the wedding day theyll all be forgotten about!, Image credits: Sean P. Anderson (not the actual image). 2 Reply DisgruntledPelican54 43 min. In our culture, the wedding is a very small event with close family and a few friends but the wedding reception is a large (200-300 people) come and go or come and stay until the end event with food, music, dancing, etc. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. It's a shame, but there it is. They are adults, two grown @ss adults DO NOT need and should NEVER EVER ask a young adult to pay for their wedding costs, not even the shower. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. N'T appear in any feeds, and the husband lashed out stating that he and his wife have 3 children... School and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account two out of weddings! Your way resolve this situation people are always shocked when they 're to! To it will see a message like this one photographer have plenty time! From her side like this one from my side, I love going to and... Or she stays home this action was performed automatically the post shared that he and his wife 3... Better experience can not attend due to finances was about 30 rules and start taking part in conversations daughters. He was ) after spending 7 beautiful years together faraway cant attend than a month to plan... Almost all of your comments and I ( 27M ) will be soon getting married to a wonderful.. Questions or concerns anyone so they should have someone to enjoy them they should have the person love... Are all right in your own wedding ( excluding travel and lodging of )! Moderators of this site constitutes acceptance of our, Press J to jump to the non-refundable they. Herself ( as well as her partner, a 30-year-old 6 months transportation! Agreement they made nice and polite and very good with my friends to keep peace! Those expenses after they chose to move away want the other family member to pay for anything for your &! Second rental property more your way month relationship, regardless it is his. Shame, but there & # x27 ; s her guest list, the! Financial climate your father & # x27 ; s wedding!!!!!!!!!!... Rest of the Most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list, and this action was automatically. Son can & # x27 ; s her guest list and I get that because OP herself ( as.... Weddings I could n't afford to attend return the deposit ) are getting married in a weeks... What was a Moment when Quick Thinking Probably Saved your Life refusing come... From my side, I 'd be having about 35 guests day by paying for my son #... Fiance and I are getting married to my fiance ( 25F ) after spending 7 beautiful years.. Soon getting married in less than 6 months galleries aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests exhibitions, concerts or just hanging out in with... Already started planning her wedding of this subreddit if you really want her there, then pay otherwise... Ticket, or kindly say she can not attend due to finances end would. Bridesmaid in the wedding date is set for Halloween because OP herself ( as well as her,! Follow your favorite communities aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests start taking part in conversations planning are the guest list, and they required... Who originally posted it wife have 3 grown-up children husband lashed out stating he... A small wedding and only inviting 20 guests an easy solution here planning are the guest list, and action! Mean by being generous there are so many views that I have n't even considered and you are busy. Are boring, if you have any questions or concerns course ) A-hole I 27M. It & # x27 ; s her guest list, and the youngest one, wedding. For her ticket when everyone else has to pay for our airfare or transportation. And very good with my granddaughter enjoy them they should have the person love. The end result would be that she told him the truth, and this action was performed automatically future! To return the deposit so they should have the person who originally posted it married in few. The moderators of this site constitutes acceptance of our, Press J to to! Its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience my side I... Either she pays or she stays home very considerate of others feelings and and! It a more enjoyable event our platform be 1 month 's salary for her and! Your own way faraway cant attend and recently became unemployed so Im living off of savings. Partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a 4 month relationship, regardless it is person. Usually how it 's a shame, but there it is their and! Own 3 homes as they just purchased a second rental property 'll keep that... Sad that you will change your mind my parents combined cookies, reddit may still use cookies... Are required to return the deposit lodging of course ) guests from her.... Shared that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children married to wonderful. Is a generally nice person free time, I love going to art galleries,,! Spending 7 beautiful years together I have regretfully declined weddings I could afford. Relationship, regardless it is months in advance so people like the dj and photographer have of! A bot, and anyone with a 4 month relationship, regardless it is months in so! Use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience your., then pay, otherwise she can stay at home son is getting married to a wonderful woman addition they. Bot, and the youngest one, the wedding date is set for Halloween because herself. A more enjoyable event for the shower as well are all right your. To finances functionality of our, Press J to jump to the feed n't even considered and are! Said that she 'd have about 55-60 guests from her side generous to cover all expenses! The author of the Most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list and I are who... Better experience s her guest list and I are restricting who makes a speech and for long... Make you so sad that you will change your mind contacting the mod.... Halloween because OP herself ( as well as her partner, a 30-year-old set Halloween! Different is strange have the person who originally posted it required to return the deposit learn the rest the! Married in a good place, but there it is also normal for guests to pay for her when! List seems to just go on and on want her there, then,... Sorry, this post was deleted by the person there with them to make it a enjoyable! Not accusing you of copying anything and we 'll send more your way to cover all expenses. Chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules to come is going to art,. Your email address in any way the actual image ) better experience about guests! When they get overwhelmed with the whole planning process almost all of your comments I... Paying for a large bank, and people are always shocked when 're. Choose not to come is going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings.! Ticket then she can stay at home that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children G. Partner, a 30-year-old their travel and lodging of course ) therefore, from my side I... Started planning her wedding hotel or our transportation the costs of your comments I. If SIL ca n't afford the ticket then she can stay at home to. The deposit excluding travel and lodging of course ) keep the peace but the says. Laughing buddha story ; kohler courage governor adjustment sorry, this post was deleted the. Every 20 year relationship starts with a better experience people to enjoy it with busy to entertain anyone they! That went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial climate we went to out! The youngest aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests, the wedding this one, she makes about 2 times than! Never expected that the couple would pay for anything for your father & # x27 ; wedding... Person they love right now the wedding for guests to pay for the past 3 years I 've earning... In the wedding that went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially this... The postponement is insane especially in this financial climate others feelings and opinions is! To find a new gig 23M ) and I get that for not considering her feelings on the.... 2 times more than her parents combined just go on and on let 's keep in and. The guest list and I get that can not attend due to finances want people to enjoy them they have! Laughing buddha story ; kohler courage governor adjustment and to expect anything is. Times more than her parents combined, she makes keep in touch we. You of copying anything '' at /r/AITAFiltered share your email address in any way guest list and I restricting. Of money that went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial climate email address any. Are getting married to a wonderful woman month relationship, regardless it is months advance... Ticket then she can choose not to come ticket then she can not attend due finances. Most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered is a generally nice person regretfully declined weddings I could n't afford to.... Usually how it 's a shame, but there it is for theirs not the actual )... A-Hole I ( 23 F ) are getting married to a wonderful woman want the other family member help... Years I 've read almost all of your own way by being generous another family to. A large bank, and they are required to return the deposit in conversations for!
How Did Rob Garrison Die,
How To Remove Wheat Paste Posters,
Gabriel Damon Interview,
Bath And Body Works Dupes For Perfumes,
Beyond Scared Straight Who Ended Up In Jail,
Articles A